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Thursday, December 13, 2007

Software Engineering E-Book

Here is a Software Engineering E-book
for those who r learning, they can download
and enjoying reading..all the best..



http://www.sendspace.com/file/7ae9w4

ASP.NET e-book


hi friends here is some excellent e-books
for u. This is ASP.NET pdf file u can download
this e-book and enjoy reading..............all the best.


http://www.sendspace.com/file/it3s8c


IT Jokes----------------Just Joking


1. NIIT : Not Interested in IT.
2. WIPRO : Weak Input, Poor & Rubbish Output .
3. HCL : Hidden Costs & Losses .
4. TCS : Totally Confusing Solutions .
5. HUGHES : Highly Useless Graduates Hired for Eating and Sleeping .
6. BAAN : Beggars Association and Nerds .
7. IBM : Implicitly Boring Machines .
8. SATYAM : Sad And Tired Yelling Away Madly .
9. PARAM : Puzzled And Ridiculous Array of Microprocessors .
10. C-DOT : Coffee During Office Timings .
11. AT&T : All Troubles & Terrible .
12. CMC : Coffee, Meals and Comfort.
13. DEC : Drifting & Exhausted Computers.
14. BFL : Brainwash First and Let them go.
15. DELL : Deplorable Equipment & lackluster.
16. TISL : Totally Inconsistent Systems Ltd.
17. PSI : Peculiar Symptoms of India.
18. ORACLE : On-line Romance And Chatting with Lady Employees.
19. PATNI: Pathetic Appraisal Techniques, No Increments.
20.WINDOWS:Will Install Needless Data On Whole System.
21.MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our
Software Only Fools Teenagers.
22.MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash If Not The Operating System Hangs.

************************************************************
The programmer to his son: ""Here, I brought you a new basketball.""
""Thank you, daddy, but where is the user's guide?

************************************************************
The most important thing in the programming language is the name.
A language will not succeed without a good name.
I have recently invented a very good name and now
I am looking for a suitable language.

************************************************************
Once a programmer drowned in the sea.
Many Marines where at that time on the beach,
but the programmer was shouting
""F1 F1"" and nobody understood it.

***********************************************************
""Have you heard about the object-oriented way to become wealthy?
"" ""No...""
""Inheritance.""

************************************************************
"The Programmers' Cheer Shift to the left, shift to the right!
Pop up, push down, byte, byte, byte!

************************************************************
Q: How do you keep a programmer in the shower all day?
A: Give him a bottle of shampoo which says ""lather, rinse, repeat.""

***********************************************************
A project manager, a computer programmer and a computer operator
are driving down the road when the car they are in gets a flat tire.
The three men try to solve the problem.
The project manager said:
""Let's catch a cab and in ten minutes we'll reach our destination.""
The computer programmer said:
""We have here the driver's guide.
I can easily replace the flat tire and continue our drive.""
The computer operator said:
""First of all, let's turn off the engine and turn it on again.
Maybe it will fix the problem.""
Suddenly a Microsoft software engineer passed by and said:
""Try to close all windows, get off the car, and then get in and try again.""

****************************************************************
"Tech Support: I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.
Customer: Ok.
Tech Support:Did you get a pop-up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?
Customer: No.
Tech Support: Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?
Customer: Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.
At this point I had to put the caller on hold
to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened.
I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.
Tech Support: Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?
Customer: I have done something dumb, right?"

****************************************************************
"There are three engineers in a car;
an electrical engineer,
a chemical engineer and
a Microsoft engineer.
Suddenly the car just stops by the side of the road,
and the three engineers look at each other wondering what could be wrong.
The electrical engineer suggests stripping down
the electronics of the car and trying to trace
where a fault might have occurred.
The chemical engineeer, not knowing much about cars,
suggests that maybe the fuel is becoming emulsified
and getting blocked somewhere.
Then, the Microsoft engineer, not knowing much about anything,
comes up with a suggestion,
""Why don`t we close all the windows, get out, get back in,
open the windows again, and maybe it`ll work !?"""

**************************************************************
Note: This are only Jokes do not make serious..........................Thank u

Sarder Jokes

Sarder Jokes

Sardar got into a bus on 1st April when conductor
asked for ticket. He gave Rs.10/- and took the
ticket and said: April fool! I have bus pass.

**********************************************
Sardar : You cheated me.
Shopkeeper: How ?
Sardar : You said this is American made radio.But
when I put it ON, it says All India Radio.

***************************************************
Sardar proposed a Girl...... Girl said I'm 1 year elder to you......
Sardar said Oye No Problem Soniye, I'll marry you NEXT YEAR.

*******************************************************
SARDAR'S WIFE: wht r u searching
SARDAR: im searching for blood book
SARDAR'S WIFE: why?
SARDAR: tomorrow i have blood test doctor told to me

********************************************************
Boss : Where were you born ?
Sardar : Punjab .
Boss : which part ?
Ssardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.

*********************************************************
Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
Ssardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

*********************************************************
On a romantic day sardar's girlfriend asks him:
Darling on our engagement day will you give me a
ring?
Sardar : Ya sure, from landline or mobile.

******************************************************
Lecturer : Write a note on Gandhi Jayanthi.
Sardar : Gandhi was a great man but maa kasam, I
dont know who is Jayanthi.

*****************************************************
Sardar: Doctor! in my dreams monkeys were playing football every night.
Doctor:Take this medicine from today's night.
Sardar: Doctor can i take this medicine from tomorrow.
Doctor: why?
Sardar:Because today is final match......

********************************************************
Sardar was irritated by all the jokes made on him. Seriously he asked his
wife
tell me one thing in which iwas not involved. she reply i am PREGNANT.
 


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